Archive | June 2019

Hard to think straight

Not sure why lately but I have way too much going on in my mind right now. I feel so disorganized and lost. Wish I could find a good way to clear my head.

I keep putting off doctors and tests because I just don’t have the money and it’s embarrassing. I already ask my mom for money for groceries, I can’t keep doing this. Wish life would get easier and not harder. Work is stressing me out in every way imaginable, I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel stuck and lost… how do I improve when I can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel? I only see more and more obstacles and I just wish life could give me a break. Anything would help… I just don’t know

-Chrissy

Tonight’s thoughts

A lot of time I sit here at night thinking about posting an update, planning what I want to say and then end up passing out haha. So tonight I decided just to write it instead of thinking it first. I don’t have anything new medically to talk about except that I am going to schedule my MRI on Monday then order the stuff for the urine test tomorrow so that I can get that over with. I have been having good and bad days when it comes to cramping and today has been pretty shitty. Cramping all day even though it’s not even that time (like it matters anymore).

I will say it’s weird knowing that only one person reads this lol (hi buddy, hope your doing well lol). I won’t call you out by name but you share it with my son lol. My husband knows I have this site but I don’t think he knows I still post on it. It’s weird knowing that one day someone else might run into it, although I’m not really sure how they would do that lol.

I have been not doing well financially and literally down to the bare bones till I got paid, but finally got to get some food in the house so we’re good now although I had to miss 3 days of one of my meds (for my headaches) and had to go some time without anything for pain so that sucked, but we’re ok now. Just been really rough and stressful. I just wish things were a little easier that’s all. I’m done with traveling for work at least for now, and I do have some PTO saved up that I have that’s extra even after my vacations that I have planned out this summer so I’m happy if I get sick I have some cushion to fall on.

Work has been a bit stressful and my one employee is driving me a little crazy but whatever at this point. I have been lucky because my assistant has been doing free photography for me of my son and it’s so nice being able to have good photos of him. He also prints them for free and I’m so grateful. It’s one of the positive things that has been going on in my life. U have a few good friends here now so that helps relieve some stress. I just miss my family that’s all.

We’re going home to visit next weekend so I’m totally excited for that! My cousin is getting married!! Other then that nothing really new here. I’m glad I have this outlet though because sometimes I think if I didn’t have anywhere to turn I might not be as happy as I am during my bad days.

My son is growing up so quickly too! I took him swimming (which he hates) and he let me take him all the way in and didn’t cry the whole time so I’m going to take him more often to get him use to it.

Well I’m getting sleepy, I’ll update when I know more. Thanks for listening:-)

Nite.

-Chrissy