Recently

Recently I have been feeling sick. I’ve been on the ER more days then I have worked in the past month lol my stomach is on and off all day everyday and is so inconsistent it’s hard to tell how I will feel in the next hour let alone the next day. My neck is starting to get soar from the tumor (non cancerous they said) and since it’s on or near my spine i have to see a neurosurgeon and no apt till March 29th so now I just wait and hope it gets better and not worse. I’m honestly a bit more nervous about this upcoming surgery more then any one recently. If they hit a nerve of this tumor hits the nerve wrong I could lose feeling again and the doc said I would prob have to go to physical therapy depending how bad it is. Like if things go wrong technically I could lose feeling in my limbs (at least from what they have said). I know I shouldn’t sit and stir over things I can’t control but I just want it over with. I’m sick of being sick… and feeling nauseous and dry heaving. Well here’s hoping things get better soon.

Life sucks most of the time

I’m kinda getting sick of things. Seems anytime my life starts to go normal something happens. I finally got to move back to Ohio for work back in October and since moving back I’ve had more issues. First my neck gets strained and my whole back literally swells up… finally get that taken care of and boom my whole body goes numb because of the strain…. then I’m back with kidney stones again. This time stents are in my kidney. So I’m always needing to pee and poo and my stomach kills. My follow up apt is today and I’m not ready to go back to work cuz of the cramps and multiple bathroom breaks that last forever each time. I’m sick of waking up in pain to go use the restroom. I’m tired of having to explain my pain to people. I’m just mentally and physically exhausted. Plus my grandma isn’t doing well… covid is still crazy, and I’m just done. Ugh… hopefully things get better soon 😞